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US BEAUREGARD VENDON v 2nd XI 6th DECEMBER 2009
Caliburn knows his own way to Beauregard Vendon seeing as we have been to this ground so often. It's becoming something of a habit. Last season the 2nd XI played the 2nd team in a Division 3 match. The Beauregard 2nd XI were relegated at the end of that season and they now play in the same Division as Pionsat's 3rd XI, whom they hosted earlier this year. Pionsat's 2nd XI were promoted at the end of last season and now play in Division 2 with the Beauregard 1st XI and this is the match we have come to see today.
As I pull into the car park there's a game on involving Beauregard's 2nd XI and another club (I later learn that it's Marcillat, whom I have yet to see). Beauregard are thoroughly demolishing them and I'm told that the final score is, would you believe, 14-1. How on earth did Beauregard only manage to beat Pionsat's 3rd XI (with Xavier in goal and with only 10 men some of whom were clearly last-minute call-ups) 6-0 earlier this year? And even more puzzling - how did Marcillat beat the 3rd XI 5-0 a few weeks ago?
And as I get to the club house there's a fierce discussion going on between one of the Marcillat players, the old guy who was refereeing that match and another middle-aged guy. This can only be described as a "frank exchange of views" - the complaint being that the Marcillat player "has done nothing but insult ...." the referee "throughout the entire match"
"But that's still no way to talk to a young lad"
"Are you his father?"
"As a matter of fact I am"
"So why don't you teach him how to behave himself?"
And so it went on. I though to myself that this is a nice way to set the scene and the atmosphere for the 2nd XI's match
The players and referee troop out to the centre of the field accompanied by hoots of derision from the large crowd that's here today. And if you look closely you will see why
Both goalkeepers and the referee (it's the referee from the Cebazat game earlier this season who holds up play for half an hour while he writes "War and Peace" in his notebook) are wearing identically-coloured shirts "the one that Michael is wearing is one of the ones that I bought for the club". The crowd come out with all kinds of speculation about the exciting possibilites that some confusion might cause. I'm all in favour of this.
And almost straight away from the kickoff we have what can only be described as "inexplicable behaviour" by the Pionsat side.
They are in a good position going forward well into the Beauregard half and for some reason they play the ball back ... and back ... and back ... and back ... until it becomes a backpass to Michael.
Well, almost. It falls horribly short and a Beauregard player is quick to pounce upon it. With just Michael to beat he shoots - and the ball goes miles wide of the post. I reckon it was nearer to being a throw-in than a goal.
I wish that Pionsat would cut it out. There have been a few too many basic errors from all three teams just recently and the goals that they concede from these moments of lack of concentration are making the difference between victory and defeat. The 1st and 2nd XIs are pushing hard for promotion and the 3rd XI are trying hard to avoid propping up the entire Puy-de-Dome Football League. Just imagine the difference that a few less goals conceded would make to these teams
And it isn't long until Beauregard open the scoring. They go on a good run right down the left wing and this pulls all of the Pionsat defence over to that side of the field.
Once the defence is all out of position the ball is crossed over to the edge of the penalty area where there is a Beauregard player standing totally unmarked and with all the time in the world. He has the simple task of scoring a simple goal and there is nothing that Michael can do about it.
Just look how far back from the action the Pionsat defenders are.
There'a a Pionsat break on down the inside right position by the no10 and as he bursts through the defence clear on goal he is cynically hauled down by one of the Beauregard defenders - the no4.
He's shown the yellow card by the referee and he can think himself lucky that it wasn't a red - the Pionsat player was clean through the defence with no-one between him and the goal.
Some of the Pionsat supporters express their dismay that the referee did not show him the red card and take this up with the referee after the match (one thing about this football league is that the referees are friendly and approachable if you go about it the right way), but if the supporters were to cast their minds back to Cebazat game a few weeks ago they would recall that François hauled down a Cebazat player who was clean through on goal and the referee - the very same one who is refereeing this match - showed just a yellow card. So at least he's consistent, which is one thing to appreciate with referees and the supporters shouldn't be too upset.
So after all of that excitement we have a free kick for Pionsat just outside the penalty area. Sébastien, who is once more playing in central defence as he did in the Pontaumur match earlier in the season takes the kick and curls it nicely around the defensive wall. Unfortunately he doesn't put quite enough curl on it and it goes around the far post and behind the goal for a Beauregard goal kick.
And I'll say it again even though you are probably sick of it - I count 7 Beauregard players in the image, and just one Pionsat player. What happens if the ball rebounds off the crossbar or post, or if the keeper drops the shot? In this kind of match at this level of football you should be putting as much pressure as possible on the goalkeepers at every possible moment. You never know your luck.
We have a foul awarded in Pionsat's favour in the centre of the field about 35 yards out from the Beauregard goal. There's some discussion about this foul although I'm not quite sure why as it was pretty clear to me. And all of a sudden a good while after the foul has been committed the referee beckons the Beauregard no14 over to him and shows him a yellow card.
Now I'm probably standing about 15 or 20 yards away from where the no14 was, and if the caution was for something that the no14 had said then the referee must have absolutely excellent hearing because I didn't hear the no14 say anything at all. And I can't see what else the booking might have been for - the foul had been committed a while before this nd I didn't think that the no14 was the offender in any case.
I asked a couple of the Beauregard players afterwards if they could throw some light on the subject as I couldn't find the no14 himself. One replied enigmatically "it wasn't me out there refereeing the match" and the team captain merely shrugged his shoulders.
And once the referee has booked the no14 he calls the captain of Beauregard over (for about the fourth time I reckon) and asks him to calm his men (Sébastien who captains the 2nd XI was likewise summoned on a couple of occasions during the match). And the Beauregard no9 then trots over to the scene to add his three-ha'p'orth to the discussion.
And I haven't a clue as to what is going on during all of this. I had been attentively watching the match and while it has been niggly in places it's been nothing like as bad-tempered as the Artonne match the other week which had I been refereeing we would have been lucky to have finished with a tournoi de sixte.
And so after all of the excitement we can finally proceed to the free kick. Again it's a nice kick over and around the wall but it goes straight down the throat of the Beauregard goalkeeper who clings on tightly.
The Pionsat forward in the image has been clearly reading the notes that I made about the previous free kick because you can see him racing in just in case the keeper drops the ball. And you can see how quick he is off the mark too. From an onside position (meaning that there must have been at least one of those two defenders between him and the ball) he's gained a good three metres on them over a distance of probably no more than 20 metres.
Pionsat are still on the attack looking for the equaliser and once more they are brough to another shuddering halt by yet another foul just outside the penalty area. I can see me having to eat the words that I uttered just now about the Artonne match if this match carries on like this.
The free kick is taken from on the corner of the diagonal and it beats the defenders and the goalkeeper but also unfortunately all of the attackers and the far post, going wide for a goal kick. I can see it not being Pionsat's day today.
Pionsat pile on the pressure as the match draws to a close and they are up in the Beauregard half for what seems like an age. However they lose the ball (fairly this time ) and Beauregard surge forward down the left wing.
The winger storms his way right through the defence and puts a good cross into the centre. From there it finds its way out onto the right wing where the winger down there decides that it's his turn to take on the defence. he beats the defenders comfortably and crosses the ball right the way across the face of the goal to another Beauregard forward who has meantime arrived on the scene.
He smashes the ball in on goal but Michael dives for it. He gets his hands to the ball and pushes it out for a throw-in.
And while you are peering through the gloom at the photo of Michael's save, just see if you can spot the Pionsat central defenders.
And then we have another curious refereeing incident down on the left-hand touchline right in front of where I was standing. The Pionsat no10 who is working the left flank has had a right old tussle with the Beauregard no3 throughout the match. It's hard and extremely competitive, but also reasonably clean.
However the referee summons both players over to him to tell them that "if they don't cut out the monkey business he'll be taking their names". I can't imagine what the referee has been watching that I have been missing and the two players are as bewildered as I am about this. They shake hands and wander off shaking their heads.
Pontaumur, who demolished Pionsat's 2nd XI at the start of the season and defeated the 1st XI in the cup the other week - they are now 2nd in the table. Pionsat's 2nd XI are third. Top of the table is this Beauregard side, would you believe?
Pionsat played without "the other Christophe", without Gregory, without Malik, without Didier, without one of the central defenders so that Sébastien was playing in central defence again and without a couple of other regulars too. They gave this Beauregard team a run for their money and I reckon that they would have smothered them if they had had a full side out. Beauregard were nothing special so how come they are top of this league instead of Pontaumur?
And another thing. I have to say in all honesty that this match was quite competitive but nevertheless played for the most part in a sportsman-like spirit. There was nothing that I saw that was particularly nasty and so I can't see why the referee was so emotional about it. I would be intrigued to see how he would have coped with the match against Artonne the other week.
So with the 2nd XI losing today and the 1st XI losing away at Lapeyrouse last night, then of all the points on offer this weekend only 1 was won, and that by Pionsat's 3rd XI! What would have been the odds on the 3rd XI winning more points that the 1st and 2nd XIs combined? I reckon you could have named your own price and still found plenty of takers. The 3rd XI can be proud of themselves this weekend.
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