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CUP MATCH v AS ENVAL 21st NOVEMBER 2009
Just when I thought it was safe to stay in and profit from my nicely refurbished attic with the new heater, a frantic flurry of e-mails informed me that there was a hastily-arranged cup match between "a Pionsat team" and AS Enval. The reason why there is the use of inverted commas is that the match was so hastily-arranged that it wasn't possible to pick the nucleus of any particular team. Anyone passing the ground who was carrying a pair of boots was pressed into service.
I'm sure that had I come down with a pair of boots I would have had a game - there were only 10 Pionsat players warming up. 5 minutes before the kick-off two Pionsat players came dashing into the ground and dashed straight into the changing rooms. Michael, the 2nd XI goalkeeper, then wanders into the ground to see what is happening. Yes, he does have his boots and yes, he will sign up as a substitute in an outfield position.
5 minutes after the start of the match Jerome, who plays anywhere down the left flank for the 3rd XI, ran into the ground and into the changing room. 30 seconds later he ran out wearing the no14 jersey and that is Pionsat's team for tonight. "Makeshift" somehow doesn't seem to be adequate.
But before Jerome has even arrived at the ground Pionsat take the lead, and in what can only be called "bizarre and extraordinary" circumstances. There's a long ball down the wing that everyone thinks is going out and so they all stand around watching it. That is, except for one of the quick Pionsat forward who chases after it. He makes the ball just on the by-line and puts in a high cross right across the field.
The cross clears a defender who wouldn't have got to it if he had a stepladder, and the ball falls to a Pionsat forward who tries his luck from way out wide. The shot travels right across the goal and is clearly going well wide, but the defender isn't quick enough to get out of the way. The ball hits him on the back of the legs and cannons into the net.
It really was most extraordinary and it's about time Pionsat had some good luck for a change. This is usually the kind of thing that happens to them.
Pionsat's defence break up an Enval attack and play a good long ball downfield. It travels right over the defence and two of the Pionsat forwards break clear. The Enval defence stand around appealing for offside but it didn't look at all like offside to me - I was right level with play. The Enval linesman agreed with me and kept his flag down and as a result was subjected to a barrage of abuse from his own players
So we have two Pionsat forwards to take on the Enval keeper, who is all on his own. The forward with the ball cleverly entices the keeper out towards him and once the keeper has swallowed the bait the forward slides the ball across to his colleague who has the goal at his mercy.
But unbelievably, the 2nd Pionsat forward has over-run his mate and is now in an offside position. The Enval linesman now correctly raises his flag and despite the ball entering the net Enval are awarded a free kick. I hope that this match doesn't hinge on a moment like that. Pionsat can do without events such as this.
Pionsat score a second goal just three minutes later, and they score in a fashion in which they normally concede them. The Enval defence win the ball but fail to clear their lines. They don't seem to want to get it upfield out of danger and are messing around with fancy one-twos and clever backheels.
Of course they eventually lose possession to a Pionsat forward who is 25 yards out and one thing about Pionsat's forwards is that they don't usually need two chances to seize the advantage. He sets off towards goal with the ball and just as an Enval defender is about to catch him he lets fly from about 12 yards and no keeper is going to stop that.
Pionsat go forward once more, the very quick no9 breaking down the wing. He puts a really good cross into the centre and a Pionsat forward, totally unmarked as you can see gets a good header onto it but but the ball just goes wide of the post.
Right now there's lots of argument and recriminations and discussions in the Enval defence. This is not a very good sign as far as they are concerned and it can only lead to trouble. It's not that Enval is a bad team but they don't seem to be playing as a team out there - more like a bunch of 11 individuals and they aren't working for each other.
Pionsat break yet again all the way out of their defence. And yet again it's down the right wing with the quick no9. The Enval defenders have been winning a few good balls in the air just recently so rather than crossing, he cuts inside on goal.
He draws the defence to him and once he has them out of position he passes the ball across the face of the goal to Thomas who is totally unmarked. He runs in and taps home into the empty net.
These two Pionsat players are running the Enval defence ragged right now.
Two minutes later Pionsat score a fourth goal. No surprises that it comes from a break down the right wing and this time its a long diagonal ball right through thr centre of the Enval defence. Once more it's Thomas running clear on goal with just one defender and the goalkeeper to try to stop him, but he beats them both with ease and that was that.
Considering that this is a scratch side put together right at the last moment Pionsat are quite impressing me in this game.
Pionsat are on fire right now and we have a carbon copy of the move that led to the fourth goal. The keeper comes for the cross and misses it and this time Thomas chooses the aerial route. Unfortunately he gives it a bit too much air and it sails over the bar.
I don't know what is up with this Enval defence. It might seem a strange thing to say about a team that is 4-0 down after only 40 minutes but the defenders aren't playing all that badly overall and in the air they are quite impressive for this level of football. But they just don't seem to be performing and are continually being caught out of position by the speed of the Pionsat attack.
Surprisingly, Enval manage to pull a goal back just before half-time. They win a free kick and put it high into the Pionsat penalty area.
Matthieu manages to get his hand to it but all he can do is to palm it onto the bar. As the Pionsat defenders stand around watching, the ball falls to the feet of an unmarked Enval forward who slots it home.
Totally against the run of play, it has to be said.
And almost straight from the kickoff Enval almost go it again. One of the forwards gets into a scoring position in the inside-right position and tries his luck but Matthieu is equal to the shot and palms it away. The Pionsat players don't make life easy for their supporters.
In the second half Pionsat seem to have gone off the boil and don't look anything like as impressive as they did in the first half. Mind you I notice that Thomas hasn't reappeared after the interval and maybe that is something to do with it. We have to wait for an age for anything exciting to happen.
And when it does, it stems once again from Enval messing around with the ball on the edge of their penalty area when it should have been cleared upfield half an hour ago. They'd already walloped the ball into touch once and when it was played back in, they won it and just didn't seem to want to get rid of it.
One of the players goes down under a heavy challenge and this is normally the signal for the ball to be played into touch to give the player a chance to receive treatment. This time however everyone ignores it and plays on.
The Pionsat no9 picks up the loose ball and dribbles his way into the centre, riding a couple of really heavy challenges. The keeper advances to narrow the angle but the no9 shoots past him into the net.
It's Enval's own fault that they conceded this goal. They are losing the match 4-1 and they are being torn apart by a really quick winger so they should have played the ball upfield and out of danger at the earliest possible moment. I lose count of how many times I've "had words" about the Pionsat defence doing this so it makes a pleasant change for me to sit here and criticise another team for this same reason.
Nevertheless Enval still continue to go forward but concede a free kick just inside the Pionsat half of the field. The kick is taken long and is headed on by one of the Pionsat forwards.
The ball drops nicely for Sébastien who is nicely placed just about twelve yards out from goal. He blasts it towards the goal but the keeper somehow manages to get to the shot with a punch and punches it up and over the bar for a Pionsat corner.
With just a couple of minutes to go in the game Pionsat score a sixth goal. Enval are pressing forward for a goal and I'm not sure why as they are well-beaten by now. The entire Enval team with the exception of the goalkeeper is in the Pionsat half but they let the ball run out of play down by the goal-line for a Pionsat throw-in.
From the throw-in the Pionsat full-back lobs the ball right over the Enval players to Sébastien who is standing just inside his own half (so he can't be offside) and there is not a soul between him and the Enval goalkeeper.
He sets off goalwards and no-one is ever going to catch him, and he beats the keeper quite comfortably, sending him the wrong way. It's hard to think of what the goalkeeper might have done to stop him until FIFA decide that it is within the rules of play for goalkeepers to carry machine guns, but it was a silly goal for Enval to concede.
And that reminds me. A few weeks ago Pionsat played Pontaumur when they were crippled with injury and were soundly spanked. I said at the time that Pionsat had their tactics all wrong and Sébastien should have been playing up front all on his own looking for the quick breakaway with everyone else packing the defence. This goal is exactly what I was talking about.
A few weeks ago I said that my gallivanting days were over for this season as Pionsat were knocked out of the league cup. But with this particular competition appearing out of nowhere and forgotten by almost everyone then the victory tonight means that we may well be back on the road to more-exotic parts of the Puy-de-Dome. And if they cn play as well as they did tonight with a scratch team like this, who knows where we might end up?
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