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AS CHATEAUGAY v 2nd XI
9th September 2012
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Well, this is a good start isn't it? First 2nd-XI match of the season and we have only 9 players out on the field. Why do I get this sinking feeling that we've seen all of this before, and that's before a ball has even been kicked so far this season? What a disaster this is going to be (and remember that I said this before the kick-off).
Anyway, there are a few new players out there this season. Let's hope that even if they may not quite have what it takes to set the Puy-de-Dôme League alight, they will show much more tenacity and combativity than we've seen since the heady days of the Defaye brothers - and doesn't that seem like a century ago?
Anyway, after about 15 minutes of the match, which is played almost entirely in Pionsat's half, not only do Jérôme and Bertrand turn up to make up a full complement of players but Xavier turns up to watch the game, luckily with his boots in the car, and Pionsat can put out a substitute.
But what a start to the season!
So to quickly run through the team now that we have 11 players out there, up front are William and Bertrand, in midfield are Jérôme, Kevin, Sébastien and Didier, in defence are Anthony, Malik, Fabien and Vincent, and François is in goal
After about 25 minutes Chateaugay take the lead which is a shame because although they've been constantly on the attack and Pionsat have hardly been in the other half, Chateaugay don't look up to all that much.
It's a break down the right wing with Pionsat once again - ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH - standing around waiting for an offside flag that never came and I do wish that they would stop doing silly things like this because it always leads to disaster more often than not.
The winger breaks free of the defence and plays the ball into the far post to an unmarked colleague who doesn't need to do anything much at all to open the scoring. The photograph tells its own story - just one Pionsat defender and four attackers.
Yes, I really do wish that the defence - not just of this team but the 1st XI as well, would stop this messing about playing an offside trap. It never works and they are always caught out by it. One thing that you can say about the 3rd XI is that they never ever were caught out like this because when Fabrice played in the back line he was always back covering the attackers, which is what a defender is supposed to do. Playing an offside trap at this level of football is nothing short of suicide.
And the upshot of this, apart from the goal, is that Fabien his limped off the field clutching his thigh and so Sébastien drops back to defence, Bertrand drops back to midfield, and Xavier comes on up front and I bet he never imagined anything like this, playing for the 2nd XI.
And I have just seen an incredible sight - Xavier and William up front on the edge of the Chateaugay penalty area with the ball, surrounded by 7 Chateaugay defenders, and the nearest other Pionsat player to lend them a helping hand and take the pressure off them is probably 50 metres away. There's no-one at all to help out and they don't look in too much of a hurry either.
This is going to be a long, hard season for Pionsat. I can feel it in my bones.
Close to the end of the first half, Chateaugay score a second goal. This is a long ball out of defence headed on by one of their players to the inside-left and he has a good shot on goal.
François dives for the ball and gets his hand to it to push the shot away - right onto the post and the ball rolls right along the goal line behind him to the other post and bounces off that into the net. That is what I call desperately unlucky.
Chateaugay almost score a third one too right from the kick-off. They manage to work the ball to the left-hand edge of the penalty area where they are held up by the Pionsat defence, but one of their players notices François just off his line and tries for the lob.
François is far too experienced to be caught out like that and goes up for the ball and palms it up and over the bar for a corner. That's probably the best moment of the game so far.
We have another injury crisis now. Anthony has been struggling for a couple of minutes and now he's left the field in some agony. Fabien limps back onto the field to replace him at right-back but this isn't going to last.
And ohhh no, we're at it again. Standing around appealing for another offside and the flag doesn't go up at all, and the ball is crossed over to the far post once more, where an unmarked forward has the easiest of chances to sidefoot the ball into the net.
But most astonishingly, under no pressure at all he sidefoots it back across the goal and wide of the post by probably 4 or 5 metres and I've no idea why. That's something of a lucky escape for Pionsat.
And you are probably admiring the shirt that François is wearing by the way. That's one of the four that I bought for the 2nd XI goalkeeper to celebrate the team's promotion all those years ago.
With almost the final breath of the second half, Pionsat at last manage to win a corner. I think that it's Vincent who wins a free header just inside the area but his header goes wide and high.
So by my calculations, as the first half ends, the Chateaugay keeper has dealt with two backpasses. Pionsat's midfield players need to push forward much more from their own half, support the two up front, and at least test the goalkeeper, even if it's from distance.
The second half starts and Xavier is playing now at right-back and Fabien is just limping around the field clearly unfit. and we start the second half as we played the first half with the team standing around appealing for offside and there's nothing doing from the linesman.
Luckily that movement comes to nothing but if I keep on going on about all of this I'll bore my readers to death even before the season is properly under way.
A few years ago at St Gervais we had an incident where a clearance from the right back position went out of play and straight into the pie hut scattering glasses, bottles, sandwiches and serving wenches to all corners of the globe.
We've just had something equally as noteworthy here. The Chateaugay coach has just kicked the ball back into play but his sandal has come off, flown right into the air and lodged itself on the roof of the dressing room. So he'll be hobbling home after the match unless someone has a really long ladder.
And we're going to have a disaster here now. There's been a collision in the area and François has clearly come off worst. In fact judging by his expression, not only has he had the full weight of an opponent landing on his leg, it looks as if someone has walked on his fingers too and he's not looking very happy at all.
So with 20 minutes to go, I leave the ground to go on down to Clermont and as I walk back to Caliburn they score a third goal. They break down the middle of the field and have a shot at goal. A very immobile François manages to block the ball but it cannons off him and over to one of their attackers who lobs it back over François to a colleague who looks from where I was standing as if he was 5 yards offside but play to the whistle, Eric.
Anyway, that's 3-0.
When I saw the final score of this match, I thought that there must have been a calamity in the final 20 minutes after I had left, and indeed there had been. François was clearly unfit to continue and had left the field, so Xavier went in goal. Xavier will be the first to tell you that his willingness to play there counts for nothing against a determined opposition and when you only have effectively 9 fit men on the pitch in the last quarter of the match the result is a foregone conclusion.
But what a way to start the season, especially when the team looked at the beginning to be in better shape than last year's side. When your luck is out, it's well and truly out.
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